I don't need this offensivly or anything, but it isn't very interesting. Yes, It grabs the reader's interest, but it ain't interesting enough to hold the interest. It needs more discription, that's what it needs...
stuff liek:
It had been a long hard journey for Kate from the protestors outside the germ lab with placards saying things like: TREAT HUMANS AS HUMANS and the newspapers with headlines such as DISEASE BOMB PUTTING POPULATION IN UNEASE BOMB.
She had laughed when she read the title.
Instead:
Kate thought back to this morning when she had some diffuculty in pursuading a large man to let her through into the building. In retrospect, kate thought, it was kind of amusing. The people out there where protesting the work she was doing in here, and they were standing out there with large posters yelling slogans out to the crowd. "TREAT HUMANS AS HUMANS" read one, and Kate smiled knowingly to the small, ginger haired man carrying it and passionately displaying it out to the public. "DISEASE BOMB PUTTING POPULATION IN UNEASE BOMB!" Yelled another sign at her. She smiled while thinking of that one, it had made her crack-up, which made the man carrying it rather angry... She had hurried into the lab after that.
You see what i mean? It's kind of hard to explain, but you need to write more fluently and use bigger words (the bigger, the better, it makes your reading sound good).
Just trying to give some pointers here. Please don't destroy my comment, I worked hard to try and help improve your writing. PLEASE!
KuroiYasha
Katie will die in a car crash, no one will know password to her computer and accidentaly counting to explosion will be activated.
Don't influence by it. I like tragic stories. I know you can write much better story than me :)
archex
Thanks thats a cool idea but I was thinking maybe kidnap...